


a look inside the minds of the Snotty Bitch and the Brain-Dead Farmer.

by arewecoolvincent



Category: Last Tango In Halifax
Genre: Angst, Blindfolds, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, I Tried, Smut, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:12:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24077269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arewecoolvincent/pseuds/arewecoolvincent
Summary: It was a quiet Saturday afternoon at the farm. It was just Gillian and Caroline. No kids or parents fussing. Gillian implies something and Caroline panics.
Relationships: Gillian Greenwood/Caroline McKenzie-Dawson
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	1. the bitch and the farmer fuck up.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're wondering, yes, I took it down as I felt like it wasn't my best, but it's back now with minor changes!

Gillian’s history of one-night stands was questionable. It was mostly men but after Eddie’s death, Gillian began exploring her sexuality again. As a teenager, she had some sexual encounters with girls but it was more experimentation than anything. Then Eddie came along and she was in love, or so she thought. But enough about that twat. Over the years, she had developed a crush on Caroline, which is by far the most idiotic thing she has done. Now that Caroline was single and their trips to Hebden Women’s Disco weren’t successful for Caroline, Gillian felt the need to make her crush known. Of course, this is Gillian Greenwood, the world’s biggest fuck up, we’re talking about…. And guess what she fucks up.  _ Big time. _

It was a quiet Saturday afternoon at the farm. It was just Gillian and Caroline. No kids or parents fussing. It was warm and sunny outside so the pair were perched on the wall, drinking wine. “Have you thought about joining those dating apps like Tinder?” Gillian said as she topped up Caroline’s glass. “Fuck off.” Caroline said as she watched Gillian laugh. “Alright, it were just a suggestion.” Gillian placed the empty bottle on the grass behind her. “I am too old for that.” “Oi, we’re the same age, watch yourself.” Gillian shoved Caroline’s shoulder gently, so she didn’t spill the wine. They both laughed and Gillian never got tired of hearing Caroline’s laugh. It was something that Gillian barely heard so it was a special moment when  _ she _ was the one that made Caroline laugh. She had been preparing some sort of contingency plan if her big reveal went tits up but she knew it was stupid. 

“So, have you had any encounters with idiotic men while I’ve been celibate?” Caroline laughed as Gillian had an impressive spit take. The red wine splattered on the floor like blood (not the best comparison for our poor Gillian but it’s the first thing that came to mind). “No I haven’t actually. There’s been a couple of women though.” Gillian waited for Caroline’s reaction. She heard the wine glass clink against the stone. “Hang on. Rewind, you are now telling me that you’ve shagged women? You never thought to tell me that earlier. You chose to tell me that you murdered your husband instead?!” Caroline turned her body to face Gillian properly. She knocked her wine glass and the blood red wine seeped down the wall slowly.

“There’s also something else I need to tell...y-you.” Gillian cursed herself for the stutter but she still twisted her body to face Caroline. 

“Next thing you’re going to say is that you’re in love with me.” Caroline spoke sarcastically but Gillian was panicking and remained dead silent. The realisation hit Caroline like a ton of bricks. 

“Oh god, you are actually in love with me. I need to go.” Caroline got up quickly and rushed inside the farmhouse. Gillian wanted to hit herself over the head, subtlety was never a talent of hers.

“Caz, wait!” Gillian rose from the wall as Caroline jogged down the stairs. Gillian managed to catch Caroline’s arm with her hand. Caroline came to a halt at the bottom of the stairs. She threw a glare at Gillian who let go.  _ Well done Gillian, you’ve only gone and fucked it,  _ she thought to herself.

“Gillian, I can’t do this now.” she rushed to her car, threw her bag into the passenger seat and immediately started the car when she was safely sat in the driver's seat. She pulled out of the courtyard and headed quickly down the lane. Caroline had no one to talk to about this. Well, she had William but she didn’t want to confide in him for all her troubles. He was wise and ironically, he got that from her. “Fuck it” she mumbled to herself as she dialed William’s number on the little screen in her car. “Why does he never answer when I need him the most? Oh God, I’m having a conversation with myself, I’m going mad.” Caroline continued to talk to herself as she drove home. For Caroline, it’s weird coming home to an empty house. Lawrence lived with John, William was away in Oxford, Flora was with Greg and her mother and Alan lived in a bungalow in Ripponden. However, at times like this, she wished that William was at home so it was easier to talk to him. 

The drive home went quicker than she expected. She slammed the car door and trapped the handle of her bag in it. “Fuck.” she shouted into the quiet atmosphere. She yanked the door back open and slammed it again once her strap was free. All she wanted to do was get inside and drink until she was absolutely shit faced. She knew she’d regret it in the morning but she needed to forget what just happened. She knew it was time to be honest with herself and stop being naive. 

Recently, she had been paying more attention to Gillian, like remembering her favourite brand of tea or her favourite perfume. She had originally pinned it down to wanting to be a better step-sister and friend. But she was kidding herself. She knew from the start that it was wrong of her to have a crush on her step-sister. Of course, she had put it down to their angry but sexual tension filled meeting in that dingy little pub in Skipton. Snotty Bitch vs. Brain Dead, Low-Life, Trailer Trash. Now she admitted to herself that if their parents and Gillian’s son weren’t there, Caroline probably would’ve fucked Gillian in the pub toilets but that was not exactly an option at the time and neither something to dwell on now. Gillian sleeping with John was slightly inevitable, Caroline knew that John would do anything to get inside Gillian’s knickers and Gillian being the absolute pillock she was….  _ is _ , let him. This hurt Caroline, more than she expected it too at first but then it dawned on her all these years later that she  _ may _ have been jealous. Now, we know that she had feelings for Kate, but she had fucked that situation with her attitude towards Kate and her reaction regarding the insidious little prick that is Michael Dobson.

Now sat at the kitchen table in her eerily quiet house, she had some time to reflect. Her reaction wasn’t the best and she has most definitely fucked up. To Gillian, Caroline was Little Miss Perfect but in reality, she was more like Mr Messy. She always had too much on her plate and her feelings were constantly all over the place. But Gillian basically confirming her suspicions had thrown her off guard. She didn’t expect Gillian to feel the same way. Of course, it had occurred to Caroline, when they met in that pub that Gillian wasn’t entirely straight. It also occurred to her that at the time, she was trying to find an excuse to try and get over Kate while her shambolic marriage was still hanging on by a thread. She only had herself to blame for that one as she somehow always managed to let John back into her life and ruin it. He was a bloody pest and she was now glad that he had Judith, even though that relationship (is that even the way to describe it?) was on the rocks like always. She didn’t understand how Lawrence could put up with those two drunken intellectuals arguing all the time. Now, do not even get me started on Judith’s sudden conversion to Lesbianism. I’ll give it to her, she had some fucking balls asking Caroline out but what the fuck was she thinking?! This made Caroline question the man she thought she was in love with. How can someone like him somehow convert all the women he’s shagged into lesbians or bisexuals? Is it his self-destructive behaviour or just him as a person in general? Enough of that, back to Caroline. 

Caroline drained the bottle and made her way into the living room. She flicked on the tv, mainly to drown out the emptiness and the loneliness she now felt. 

“Should I call her and apologise?” she aloud to herself , so she thought.

_ “You messed up Caroline.”  _ Kate’s voice was loud and clear. 

“Kate? What’re you doing here? You haven’t appeared for months.” 

_ “Sorry. I’ve been watching Flora. But that’s not why I am here.”  _ she sat next to Caroline and took her hand.

“You’re here because I ran away from my problems again?” If anyone looked in the window right now, they would think Caroline is mad.

_ “I’ve been watching you. You’re clearly in love with her but in denial, and she is very much in love with you. Don’t worry, I’m not against it. She’s lovely. I’ve always had a soft spot for her.”  _

“What should I do? Of all people, I’m asking you. God I feel...”

_ “Guilty? Caroline, you don’t need to feel guilty about it. I want you to move on. I’m always going to be in your life and supporting you.”  _

“I- I don’t know how I can fix this. What if I can’t?” Caroline felt the tears roll down her face.

_ “Listen to me, if there’s one person who will forgive for anything you have done or said, it’s Gillian. You need to be honest with yourself and Gillian.”  _

“Shit you’re right. God, I’m so stupid.” she furiously wiped the tears away.

_ “Yes you can be stupid sometimes. I have to go. But have a think about what I’ve said.” _

“I miss you.”  _ “I miss you too.”  _ and with that final sentence, she is gone. 

Caroline flicked the tv off, got up and headed for the bathroom. She hoped that a shower would sober her up a bit. She needed to resolve this before it blows out of context and out of proportion. If Gillian never wanted to talk to her again, then have a huge fucking problem. Caroline chided herself for thinking negatively. She turned the water on, stripped and stepped inside. After a refreshing shower, she felt better. She had a slight headache but she hadn’t drunk much, apart from wine so she knew it was down to dehydration. She got dressed and rushed down into the kitchen to down some water. She decided against texting Gillian and telling her that she was coming back up to the farm. She felt like it was best to just turn up unexpectedly as she knew that Gillian would still be alone, most liking brooding in the barn, out of all places. She had wondered if Eddie knew that Gillian had had relations with women but she had no place to ask. She sensed that Gillian had kept it a secret from both Eddie and her father. She had a feeling that Eddie would’ve used it as another excuse to beat the living shit out of Gillian. But she didn’t need that image in her head. Ever. 

She slipped on her boots and a jumper. She grabbed her keys and bag. She slammed the front door and rushed to her car. She climbed in, threw the bag on the passenger seat, connected her phone to the car’s bluetooth system and shuffled her playlist. She used the music to calm her as she drove. When she arrived at the bottom of the lane, she turned the music off and drove slowly. She knew that Gillian would hear her car or see it if she were in the house. She parked where she had been parked all those hours ago. She grabbed her bag and climbed out of the car. She closed the door and whispered to herself. 

"Here goes nothing."


	2. "Fuck"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> talking leads to fucking. 
> 
> (Warning: this is explicit)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Caroline is written slightly out of character here but I wanted to push the boundaries and honestly, I think it works. I'm proud of this. I have never written smut THIS detailed and explicit. Again, if there is any mistakes, they are mine. I do proofread but sometimes I miss things. My neighbours are having a street party for VE Day (Social Distancing rules were followed) as I write this and they played some tunes. 
> 
> I've decided to end this here about I cannot carry it on. I've tried but nothing seems to fit.

“What are you doing ‘ere?” Gillian’s voice made Caroline jump. She must have zoned out for a moment as she tried to calm herself down. 

“I- I wanted to talk.” Gillian was now standing in front of her. Their height difference made Caroline’s pulse race. They would fit together perfectly. Gillian was standing her ground, looking all high and mighty, which was not a good sign. Her defenses are back up and Caroline would have to fight to get them back down.

“The floor’s yours.” Gillian gestured to the vast open land around them. 

“I’m sorry for leaving like that. I was… in shock, I suppose.” Caroline watched as Gillian kicked the loose pebbles around. 

“What you did…. felt like a kick in the teeth and I know that feels like, Caroline.” Caroline cringed at the use of her full name and the vague mention of abuse.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think.” Caroline ran her hands over her face.

“That’s one thing we both seem to be doing lately.” Gillian sighed. Her defenses were ever so slowly coming down.

“I need to be honest with myself, and you. I think you’re wonderful. You’ve made mistakes and you admit that. You are strong and determined. You’re beautiful and your arse looks great in those skin tight fucking jeans you wear. I must admit, seeing you fixing something or bending over in a field is extremely arousing. But that’s not the point. I love you for you. I don’t want you to change for me. I love you even with all your mistakes, demons and flaws. I want to grow old with you. I love you, I have for a while, I’ve been too afraid to admit it. In case you… you know…”

“Feel the same? You’re an idiot Caz. I’ve been flirting with ya for a while and I assumed you’d picked up on it, which you did but you never said anything. That’s why I managed to pluck up the courage to tell you but I didn’t even get to explain. As you figured it out and left.” Gillian edged closer to Caroline. 

“What are we-” she is cut off by Gillian, “We need to think this through properly. We can’t start something and then back down. I want this, us. I want it all Caz. But we have to work together but against each other. You have to be willing to support me and help me overcome my fears and… nightmares. He’s still ‘ere. He’s always taunting me.” She shakes her head towards the barn. 

“I want it all. He will not win.” Caroline noticed that Gillian’s expression changed but she couldn’t quite read it.

“Right. Is there anything else you’d like to share?” Gillian smirked slightly and this made Caroline uncomfortable.

“I don’t think so.” Caroline knew her expression was readable and she wishes she hadn’t made it this easy for Gillian. She had wanted a fight, like a shouting match, like they had when they first met.

“You see that’s where you’re wrong. There’s something else you want to say but you can’t. From that expression, I can tell it is something that could hurt me. Right now, I just want you to be completely honest with me, whether it is good or bad.” it was time for Caroline to be one hundred percent honest. 

“Alright. Why did you sleep with John?” This topic was still very much a sore spot for Caroline but she wanted answers. She needed to fill that void. 

“Honestly? It was an impulse decision. I wanted to hurt you at the time as you’d pissed me off and I needed some sort of attention. He were in the right time and place. I knew he had feelings for me. I got that vibe as soon as you turned up here when Dad and Celia wanted to celebrate engagement.” Gillian watched as Caroline rolled her eyes. 

“Well, you succeeded in hurting me. It’s not something that a normal, rational person would do. You made the wound deeper than it needed to be. You gave him an excuse to stick around. God, you are like men. They don’t think before they do things. How can you live like that?” For the first time in months, Caroline had raised her voice at her own family.

“I don’t want to be like that anymore. Why d’ya think I got my act together?! I was sick of feeling like shit and having Eddie win. I changed me act and now I’ve changed. I still drink too much but I can work on that. I’ve spent months improving to make myself better for you. But if you don’t want that then, get the fuck off my land.” Gillian flung her arms around and scoffed at Caroline’s attitude. 

“I can see you’re changing and I’m proud of you. But we need to sort out everything that has happened.” Caroline had managed to stop herself from punching Gillian in the head in hope of knocking some bloody sense into her. 

“How can we talk it out when we’ll end up at each other's throats?” Gillian didn’t look at Caroline, she looked over Caroline’s shoulder almost unsure of herself.

“Oh Gillian, you can be naive sometimes. If we weren’t arguing, I’m pretty sure we’d been in your bed, fucking.” Caroline was surprised at her own confidence and inability to be subtle. But subtlety was out the window at this point. She still couldn’t decide if she wanted to wrap her arms around Gillian’s neck to suffocate her or kiss her senseless. For once in her life, Gillian was speechless. She was blown away by Caroline’s very open remark. 

“Well, if you’d say when you got here, we wouldn’t be standing here, would we? God you do drive me up fucking wall sometimes.” 

“Do you remember the time you told me that you like rough sex? If i recall correctly, you were very fucking drunk, in the back of a taxi after our third time at that stupid little disco and the taxi driver didn’t like the amount of swearing that came out of the mouth of yours. You have such a potty mouth.”

Gillian wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. She had remembered (surprisingly) and she regretted telling Caroline, even if it was a drunken mistake. “Ah, yes, you do remember. That particular conversation didn’t help my attraction to you, if anything, it increased my attraction. There were many nights when I would dream about pinning you to a bed or on the table and fucking you senseless. I would have to change the sheets in the morning. I’m constantly turned on by you.” 

“F-bloody hell Caroline.” 

“You wanted me to be honest, so now you know everything. Now, I would like you to go upstairs and shower. I’ll be waiting for you in the bedroom. Understood?”

All Gillian could do was nod. She turned on her heel and headed straight for the door. Caroline smirked as she watched Gillian walk. Of course she was wearing skin tight jeans. She turned her back to the house and watched as the sun shone over the valley. _Snotty Bitch wins again._

After 10 minutes of pointless waiting, Caroline had her way into the house. She dropped her bag on the sofa and headed straight upstairs. She could hear the shower as she got to the top of the stairs which masked her walking along the creaky floorboards. She eyed Gillian’s bed and noticed that the duvet had been thrown back. She slipped off her shoes and placed them neatly in the corner. She took off her jumper and draped it over the chair that rested under the window. She was now just left in her jeans and a vest. The shower flicked off and surprisingly Caroline wasn’t nervous. Gillian appeared a few moments later in the doorway. A grey towel wrapped around her torso. Caroline’s breath hitched which caused Gillian to smirk. Gillian stepped in closer but she was still too far from Caroline’s reach. Their eyes connected and the desire was evident. Gillian felt slightly self conscious but she fought off the negative thoughts. 

Caroline closed the distance. She gently traced Gillian’s collarbones with her index finger, watching as the goosebumps appeared. Gillian’s eyes fluttered closed as she felt Caroline pressing into her back. Caroline worked her way along Gillian’s shoulders, gently pressing kisses and biting on Gillian’s shoulder blades. This action made Gillian’s knees weak. She dropped the towel and Caroline gasped against her skin. When Gillian opened her eyes, Caroline was standing in front of her. Their lips met, teeth and tongue fighting for dominance. Caroline felt the back of her knees hit the bed, she pulled away from Gillian and pulled off her vest. They both fell on the bed and Caroline used this opportunity to pin Gillian down. She straddled her hips and pinned her arms above her head. Her touch was gentle as she didn't want Gillian to freak out.

She feels Caroline breathing on her neck, just under her ear and she lets out a breathy moan. Caroline smirks and gently presses a kiss under Gillian’s ear. Gillian’s hands are fighting against Caroline’s grip. She wants to run her hands over Caroline’s soft skin. “Would you feel comfortable with me blindfolding you?” Caroline’s voice was gentle as she spoke into Gillian’s ear. Gillian nods cautiously, “If you feel uncomfortable, just say. I am not going to do something you don’t like.” Caroline released her grip from Gillian’s wrists to grab her vest. She smiles down at Gillian whose eyes are full of emotion. “Ready?” Caroline says, Gillian nods and steadies her breathing so she doesn’t freak out. Caroline lowers the vest over Gillian’s eyes gently. She whispers encouraging and soothing words as she lifts Gillian’s head up to tie it loosely around the back. While her free hand explores Gillian’s toned stomach, her tongue is exploring Gillian’s mouth. 

Caroline then moves her fingers gently across Gillian's stomach down to her nether region and back up again. She feels Gillian arch into her. Caroline smirks as they pull back for air. “How did you-?” Gillian was going to finish her sentence but she didn’t want to know how Caroline learned to stimulate someone that quickly. She could feel the wetness running down her thigh. “I never kiss and tell.” Caroline said as she hovered above Gillian’s hard nipple. Her breath causes goosebumps to rise on Gillian’s pale skin. “You’re beautiful.” Caroline said before swirling her tongue around Gillian’s nipple. Gillian’s legs parted slightly and Caroline positioned herself between Gillian’s legs. Caroline slipped down further and placed feather light kisses on Gillian’s thighs. Caroline breathed on the spot she had just kissed before gently biting down. Caroline ran her tongue along the inside of Gillian’s right thigh. Caroline smirked as she ran her index finger over Gillian’s wetness making her moan “Fuck” loudly. Caroline was glad they’re home alone. Caroline’s tongue circles Gillian’s clit as she enters one slender finger into Gillian. She lets go of Gillian’s wrist and Gillian’s hands find Caroline’s hair straight away. She feels Gillian’s walls clench around her finger. Gillian moans and tugs on Caroline’s hair. She keeps circling the bundle of nerves as she slowly adds another finger. Gillian bites down on her lip to suppress another loud moan. Caroline quickens her pace and adds more pressure to Gillian’s clit. She feels Gillian’s thighs shaking as she comes undone. Caroline removes her fingers, licks them clean and then licks Gillian’s clean. Gillian has trapped Caroline between her thighs as she rides out her orgasm. 

She kisses up Gillian’s stomach, paying extra attention to all the little bumps and scars. She swirls her tongue around each nipple. She then worked her way back up Gillian’s neck then to her lips. She found it extremely erotic that Gillian wanted to taste herself. Caroline moaned into the kiss which earned a slight smirk from Gillian. They broke apart for air and Caroline reached up to whisper into Gillian’s ear, “I want you to watch me touch myself.” Caroline took Gillian’s earlobe between her teeth and sucked on it. Gillian moaned and tugged at the vest that was blocking her vision. Caroline sat up and untied the vest. Gillian repositioned herself into a sitting position as Caroline moved to lay next to her. “I have two rules. Number one, you cannot touch me or yourself. Only I can touch myself. Number two, You will be told when you can touch but your eyes must be on me at all times, if you break my rules, then you’ll be punished. Got that?” Caroline grabbed Gillian’s chin so they were facing each other. Gillian nodded as she watched Caroline and was speechless. Gillian could feel her wetness pooling down her thighs as Caroline began circling her own clit with her index finger. Caroline’s breasts moved with every pump of her fingers and Gillian was hypnotised. Caroline moaning went straight to her core and Gillian’s self control was thread-bare as Caroline reached her climax, soaking the white sheet. “You can touch now.” As soon as those words left Caroline’s mouth, Gillian was settled between Caroline’s legs, licking her clean. Caroline moved her hand down to toy with Gillian’s dusty pink nipples which were already hard. She felt Gillian hum in appreciation and it vibrated against her clit. She arches her back and her hips bump Gillian’s broad shoulders. 

Gillian sits back up and she feels Caroline shift. “Turn around.” Caroline says confidently, Gillian does as she says and her back is now pressed against Caroline’s chest. They’re laying on their side. Caroline’s hand was tucked neatly between Gillian’s thighs. She was applying pressure to Gillian’s clit. She knew Gillian was close already, as she could feel her trembling against her skin and she could hear Gillian gritting her teeth. Gillian fisted the bed sheet as she came, she moaned loudly and ground her hips into Caroline. She could feel Caroline’s rapid breathing on her neck, it tickled but it felt amazing at the same time. They calm down from their passionate bliss and they fall asleep. Caroline’s arm is slung over Gillian’s waist. “Holy shit.” Gillian whispered breathlessly. “I’ve waited for so long to do that.” Caroline whispered against Gillian’s skin.

Gillian was only a tiny bit shorter than her. They fitted together perfectly. 

“Y’know if you never came back here, we still wouldn’t be talking, let alone having sex.” Gillian said as she felt Caroline press a kiss to her hair. “I know. I’m glad I came back as I know that you wouldn’t use me. You trust me and I trust you. I could never betray your trust. You mean far too much to me. Gillian, I am in love with you. I have been for a while and I’ve been denying it as I thought you didn’t feel the same.” 

“I’ve known for a while that I love you and today I wanted to tell you. I made a plan of how to tell you but once I saw you, I completely forgot it.” a blush rose to Gillian’s cheeks which Caroline just about managed to catch a glimpse of. Gillian was panicking slightly at Caroline’s silence. 

“Are we still cool? Vincent.” Gillian whispered quietly.

“We are most definitely still cool.” Caroline replied as she pulled Gillian closer into her so Gillian’s head rested under her chin.


End file.
